I can’t seem to find words lately. As if everything I think is so extremely daunting that none of the words in the two and a half languages I “speak” are enough. Life, though amazing as it is now that you’re here, is absolutely overwhelming. I used to be in a deep sleep, everything just passed, or not even that it was kind of still, unchanging, boring. Now you’re here and that’s nice. You woke me up and for the first time in years I didn’t feel numb. I haven’t felt numb in the months I’ve met you. You’re simply overwhelming. Mind blowing. Breathtaking. Courageous. I can’t seem to find enough words to describe you. I can’t seem to bring myself to tell you how much I thank you.
And yes, I can’t make you my only hope for a happy or normal life. Moreover, I don’t want to (I can’t). This isn’t a question of me “needing” you to make a happy life. Today, I felt like telling you, that even if I leave or bolt, even if we give up or something (whatever) happens, I’m awake now. You brought a little bit of life in me again, you made my life a little bit less of a fluke and more of a meaningful situation. For that I am forever thankful.
There’s no real point on writing this words. I needed to get them out. Here they come, as a simple gesture of gratitude towards you. Just, come back soon, will you?
(…and forgive me if I trust you with my life for a while)